Who's afraid of the big bad gay lawyer?

Apartment hunting is a tired, interminable process that no one cares to hear about.  But, on occasion, there are insights gained that make perfect fodder for the amateur blogger.

Take, for instance, the phenomenon of hunting for apartments in large metropolitan areas such as San Francisco.  Most small landlords have taken their courses in "how to not get your ass sued for discrimination" offered by the local Landlord or Property Owner Association.  Though anti-discrimination laws have successfully eliminated outright discrimination in advertising (long gone are the days, "No Blacks Need Apply," "Single Mothers Not Welcome," "Two Wongs Can Make it White" - oh wait, might be wrong about that last one), this does not mean that discriminatory attitudes are not lurking on the other side of the door.  There will always be your garden variety racist or nativist who choses the application of less pigmentally gifted individuals over yourself.  But, San Francisco is something of another breed when it comes to gays/lesbians.

Relatively speaking, being out as a tenant has lesser ramifications that being out as a tenant in, say, the Deep South.  Landlords may pause for a moment when the bf and I show up an apartment looking for a one bedroom. As in,  "Oh, you aren't going to convert that living room into a bedroom?" There is a moment of awkward epiphany, but it passes quickly.  What we have discovered through the course of our search is that being out as gay is less threatening than being out as a lawyer.  

Quite a number of years ago when I did anti-housing discrimination work in New York City, I learned that "lawyers" were a protected class of individuals as were people of color, religious people, or disabled people.  Imagine that, guaranteeing an Esquire the same legal rights as historically-oppressed peoples was seen as promoting a more civil and tolerant society, where democracy thrives and children run free. Talk about a strong lobby!

As my mom called it one time, San Francisco is "like a gay mecca. Is that why you want to move there?" Well, yes and no.  Little did Mom know that there are gay meccas all over the US.  It's called the locker room at the gym.  But  seriously, being out as a tenant is really a non-starter in this city.  What I was not expecting to confront was my own internalized lawyerphobia as it surfaced each and every time I filled out a rental application. 

Employment ____________________

I pretty much realized that lawyers are some of the least desirable tenants, even potential tenants, that a landlord wants to see.  I've decided to give myself a new job title that sounds much more in line with the goody two shoes nature of San Francisco mainstream liberalism. I am now a Benefits Counselor, not a Staff Attorney.  SO much more palatable for the typical landlord.  Geez, so much effort to make other people feel better about who I am.  If they only knew.  I mean, what about the term "landlord." Why doesn't anyone find that offensive? Lord of the land? Lord's land? Heck, if I was even getting any land out of this whole process, I might just cowboy up and deal.  But 700 square feet for $2000 and I'm the one supposed to be doing the song and dance?  I oughtta sue their asses for being unscrupulous money-mongers. They should be paying me to live in these cubbie holes.

Sigh. I need a new apartment.